English, of course, enjoys an unparalleled reputation here in Deutschland GmbH for radical chic. Dropping Anglicisms into your Germanic speech patterns makes you wiser, better, sexier. Or does it ?

It has always surprised me that the very people who indulge in this habit would never dream of using German words in their English, even when these are perfectly correct Oxford English terms such as Schadenfreude or Zeitgeist [sic]. I should know, because I train them.

Actually, I don’t build up their musculature in the gym, I teach them. Training, another Denglisch special, is not something you do with languages. You practise them. And a rowdy is not a person. And a handy is not a telephone. And an oldtimer is not a car. And there is no such thing as mobbing, as the term is used here. Shops called Candy Handy and Fitness Up do not say anything to me I’m afraid. Books titles such as Job & Joy do not communicate sense.

It is a pity that this linguistic disease has progressed to such an advanced stage that Germans are now advertizing to fellow Germans in "English”. Happy Digits. Happy Hour. If it’s one thing the German language was justly famous for once upon a time, it was Klarheit. Deutsch is cool. English is cool. Drop the mumbojumbo.

James